Locations of visitors to this page There and Back Again: 2009

Friday, January 30, 2009

Nyet, Yes, Head-shakes and Cookies

This week has been one of many surprises.  The biggest of which has been the ease of the transition of Ashley into the family.  She has particularly taken to Noah, who she generally finds hilarious.  Lily has followed Ashley around for a week as if to say, "This is what I have been waiting for all my life!"  Now, don't get me wrong.  Usually she looks at me like the confused puppy who just got it's first toy.  

English is coming slowly.  I have invested in Rosetta Stone.  I confess that I had hoped to buy another language than the one I currently speak.  The other night I had to declare "no more Russian speaking" to Chris.  With SO many people who speak Russian around here, it would be easy for her to not put effort into learning English.  She understands a lot.  Many times when I ask her questions, she simply nods or shakes her head.  She is smiling a lot, which makes me happy each time I see her do it.  

My heredity has infused in me the instinct to reach out to ones I love and smother them.  I have had to suppress that behavior with every fiber of my being.  I know that it would freak her out, so I usually get by on one peck to the cheek each day.  But tonight we took things to another level.  Cooking.  This is my creative outlet, which really helps my time-starved wife.  As I began to pull out ingredients to make some cookies, she slid over my direction.  I handed her the spoon and the bowl and we began to mix it up a bit.  I showed her how to put dough on the pan and before we knew it, we had our first batch.  I poured us some milk a-la' Dom Perignion, and we celebrated our deliciousness.  I know this ain't exactly macho, but it is a microcosm of all I had been hoping for this past 3 1/2 years.

So for now, the shine has not worn off.  I am bracing myself for the first indication of real conflict.  Until then, I will rest in God's goodness of a daughter that has come home.

Gratefully,
Ande

Friday, January 23, 2009

Home

God is so good. We are in Atlanta waiting on our too early flight back to Birmingham, but the circle is complete. The "Fab 5" (our children) embark with Paula and I today on our family's new journey for the first time together under one roof. Hey, Ashley was sharing a ROOM with 5 other girls a week ago. And they had beds for 2 more, if someone felt the need for personal space depravity.

Somewhere over the ocean, I was reading a book about the life of Hudson Taylor. Then it hit me. She really is my daughter. I could not get to any paper, so I used the back page of this 77 year-old book to capture the thought:

"As I read and listen to my I-pod, the song "What Now?" played. I bought Steven Curtis Chapman's CD in 2005, just after the Matveevka orphanage group left America. What the song did was tear a Dasha-sized hole in my heart. And here she is in the seat next to me on the way home. It is all I can do just to write."

As Ashely and I laughed together half way to Atlanta, I felt myself somewhere between savoring the moment, and feeling a bit ripped off about all of the time we had to wait. However, I do not question God's wisdom or His goodness. I will just have to wait to get some of the answers in this life. God surely does not owe me any.

We will see some of you at the airport soon. Thanks for praying with us.

Blessings,
Ande

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

We Got the Visa

Today at 2:00, we were at the embassy with two other families from our neck of the woods to get visas. There were no problems of any kind and we all felt so relieved to have all paperwork behind us. She has really smiled a lot today. We had fun playing a joke or two on Anderson.

We depart for the airport tomorrow at 9:00am and should arrive in New York around 4:00pm. We are so excited to be home with our daughter, it seems so surreal to be at this point finally. Please pray for me to be alert to what needs to be done the rest of the way, and that it would look Christ-like.

Blessings,
Ande

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Home on Friday

This is Paula posting because Ande was having technical difficulties today.  Today Ande, Anderson, and Ashley went to the American Embassy.  What a cool thing for a 13-year old kid (Anderson, I mean).  Not exactly like the Bourne movies, but still something he will remember.  Ande's fingerprints did make their way to the embassy on Jan. 6th, so they were able to apply for the visa.  They will go to the embassy tomorrow to pick it up at 2 p.m.  It's so hard to believe that this is really happening.  

Ande is finally ready to get the heck out of Ukraine.  He really loves this country, but he is ready to get home.  They are staying very busy up to the last minute meeting and eating with friends.  They will fly out on Thursday, spend the night in Atlanta, and arrive in Birmingham at 7:45 a.m.  Hallelujah!  Anyone who wants to come welcome Ashley and the boys home is certainly welcome!

Love to you all,
Paula

Monday, January 19, 2009

Can a Brother get a Shower Curtain?

I have not been able to get online for a few days now, so I have to vent. There is not one single shower with a curtain in this country. Can anybody tell me why you would want to get into the shower and have water go EVERYWHERE?!? If I were again a lazy college student, I would see the benefit therein by not ever having to mop. But now I am afraid I am going to die by slipping and hitting my head on the counter. Is there a real MAN out there who would want to go this way? If I do not make it home, I have instructed Anderson to tell everyone I was hit by a marshutka while diving to save an orphan. (For those of you who do not understand my terminology, I say that you need to get over here.) My vision to save all of humanity is to become rich by selling shower curtains to every man, woman, and child in Ukraine. It may hurt the mop industry, but I do not care. It is for the greater good.

On a more serious note, we got the medical visit done today for the embassy. We also got the plane ticket for Ashley. We have to stop Thursday night in Atlanta, so we will be in Birmingham at 7:45am on Friday, Lord willing. We have the embassy visit tomorrow and should have the visa stamped on Wednesday. Please pray that the fingerprint issue has been cleared up for me.

We had lunch today with Nastya V., who was the translator in 2005. Paula and I have maintained a friendship with her and her new husband. When Ashley saw her, the moment was a bit overwhelming. So much has transpired since the two of them last spoke. It was a real blessing. Nastya still has pictures from that summer. I really blew it by not having a camera today. I still cannot believe that this adoption has come to pass.

Ashley, Anderson and I are slowly becoming accustomed to one another. It is plain to see that she is terrified of the unknown (who can blame her?), but she maintains that this is the new life she wants (shower curtain and all). Most of the time, I feel like a big dork. If anyone can give me a crash course on parenting a 14 year-old Russian-speaking girl, please call me at 1-800-MAN-LOST.

Ok, I will stop writing before you stop reading. Thanks for praying for us.

Blessings,
Ande

Saturday, January 17, 2009

2 Adoptions!

Today I got news that our son, Chris, prayed to receive Christ! Now he has been adopted into God's family. It happened about the same time I was signing Ashley out of the orphanage. How great is our God. We just brought him home on January 25 of last year. We have seen 2 big answers to prayer in 2009. We prayed this for Chris for over a year. We have been asking God to give us Ashley for 3 1/2 years.

By the way, we got Ashley's passport today at 3:00. We leave for Kiev tomorrow night. We will spend the holiday Monday on the medicals and plane ticket, ets. Prayerfully, we will get the visa and be home Thursday night.

Gratefully,
Ande

The Nina, The Lena, and the Late Eaten Pizza

Yesterday was a big slow-down. We slept in for a while and then went for "brunch" at McDonald's. Given their run of the menu, 14 year-olds Ashley and Galya chose the happy meal. We made a few other stops and then went back inside to escape the slush all over the ground.

At 4:30, Oleg picked us up to go to little Nina's house. We crammed 6 into Oleg's car (insert joke of your favorite nationality here). When we got there, Nina was running around on the tires on the playground, oblivious to all else. She was really glad to see us. She was particularly glad to see Ashley, with whom she had been to Italy 3 times. For me, it was a picture of what once was to be.

Once inside, we saw the Christmas decorations. Yana translated (more than Lena wanted) that there were not many presents this year and that things at work were hard. I told Lena that we want to be there for them to help offer support and encouragement as best we could. She began to tear up. I nearly did too, but alas, I am macho man. Mirislava came in from her college studies in time for cake. We stacked up around the table to eat, while Bart (the dog) took his place under the table. We talked of things of America and Ukraine. The children got tired of it and retired to the parlor. Lena was fascinated with home schooling. She explained that mothers had to parent by phone while at work. I felt so bad for her, knowing that life was a struggle. Lena does not wear it on her sleeve. She was gracious. She asked me to influence Nina to do well in school. I wished for Nina's sake that school was fun. I did my best. In the U.S., we use the American Dream on kids to give them a reason to study. What DO you tell a child here? One day maybe YOU TOO can earn $100 per month?

One hour turned into two and a half. We decided to leave. The family insisted on showing us out. With too many people for the elevator (or casket suspended vertically from 10 stories) Yana, Anderson and I had to take 10 flights down. I HAD to see if I could beat the elevator down and I did! It was the first time I impressed anyone for weeks. They promised to meet us at the train station to say final goodbyes. In the car, with an elbow in my back, I led the charge for the best pizza around.

After that visit, I do not care if I ever get another present under the tree. Yes, Paula, I have pictures.

I had better go for now, because I have another English class to prepare for. I have been "suffering for Jesus" at Coffee Life, eating apple strudel and a latte. Hey, I had to trudge through a foot of snow to get here!

Blessings,
Ande

Friday, January 16, 2009

Another Busy Day

Wow. We expected moderate activity yesterday, but what we got was more waiting...of all the nerve! We began by getting medical results from last time here, then off to another office to get more tests. Heat in this country can be turned off by a single switch, a-la the "soup nazi," but one must go to multiple sites to determine if he or she has anything contagious. What we found out is that Paula and I have a healthy bouncing 14 year old girl.

"Mayor" Nina proceeded to the passport office and we met her there. We gave 100 reasons why our passport should be processed first and they were SO amiable! They told us that the passport would be ready Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. Ashley got her picture made, then we went to our second trip across town to the notary. Ashley had to sign another document in front of them, President Yushenko, the Rada, and the Secretary of the U.N. The document said that even though she is our daughter, she is good with making the journey back to the U. S. I thought we covered that in court. I had a power of attorney document for Paula, but the notary came in and said that Paula would have to physically be here to sign. You can imagine my delight. I began to pray fervently. This was the first time this notary had done this procedure since (you guessed it) the new law change. They reluctantly decided to make the document, but they said "good luck" with it back at the passport office.

We had lunch at Politburo Cafe. It was an eclectic decor- Soviet era propoganda of the "good ole days," and Christmas cheer galore. Add in some American R & B, and you've got yourself one big oxymoron. Anyone over 30 would love to have seen this. I just sat and laughed. Nobody understood why, but that is nothing new for me.

We arrived at the passport office (did I mention fervent prayer all the way?). Yana took all the papers in and came out in seconds. I asked if everything was ok. She said "it's better than ok, the passport should be ready Saturday." Praise God for turning hearts and minds. Scripture talks of the Lord turning the hearts of rulers like the currents of the river. I was again reminded of the fact that people are watching and I have a testimony to live out before them. God has really given me peace throughout. It looks like we will be leaving on the night train to Kiev on Sunday. So if any of you are wanting that Zaporizhzhya keychain, I do not have a lot of time to hear from you.

Random thought of the day: You really have not lived until you have ridden on a perpetually bumpy Ukrainian road, in the back of a car, in the dark, with a hot cup of McDonald's coffee. Oleg called it "extreme coffee drinking."

Ashley has been really happy. She is not exactly showing a lot of curiosity about English, but she will wonder what we are all saying soon enough. God willing, we should make the Thursday trip home that I originally booked. Thanks for praying.

God Bless,
Ande

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

On the Move

We arrived in Zap early Wednesday morning. There was a ton of snow on the ground. We hit the ground running and managed to secure the birth certificate and their version of the social security number. Of course, there was some situational comedy involved with the processes, but I cannot mention that here. I will have things to tell when we return. The lady at the birth certificate office was absolutley wonderful. At one point, I thought she was going to cry while wishing our family well. Those of you who have been through this know how long the first day is.

Today will likely be just as long. We have to get some medical stuff done and begin the passport process. Nina has been great. In fact, we should not have been able to get the birth certificate until today, but she pulled some strings.

Ashley has been happy. She has smiled a lot since our late arrival at the orphanage, which I love to see. Anderson has been great, but has had to endure lots of time in the back seat of Oleg's car doing nothing. I think it makes Ashley feel better to have someone her age here with her.

We are staying at the Intourist Hotel. I was shocked (but should not have been) to find that the posh, modern lobby in no way resembles the old rooms upstairs. Perhaps we will move today back to our old flat. We miss all of you. Thanks for your prayers.

God is Good,

Ande

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ukrainians Everywhere

In Cincinnati, we ran into our friend Cathy Stafford in the airport. She told us that all of the Poltava children who had been hosted over Christmas were on the plane with us. Many of these children were in Birmingham last summer with us. When I got on the plane, I immediately saw Vitalik (Carter) and he lit up. Little Oksana (Holmes) ran up to me and gave me a bear hug. The kids seemed to be in good spirits despite leaving loved ones behind. They were with us all the way to Kiev.

Otherwise on the trip, Anderson and I settled into mature bahavior. We identified a man who looked like Autstin Powers (yeah, baby). Another man looked like Nacho Libre. We recited many movie lines and laughed.

We made it over just fine. I have never seen so much snow here. Fortunately for us, there is a heat wave moving through. The high today should hit 43. We will enjoy the weather for a couple of days before the thermometer moves south again.

We dropped our bags off and took to the streets of Kiev, our home away from home. Our facilitators have long ago learned to just let us go. They tell us where to be and when to be there and we just get it done. We grabbed lunch at "Be Healthy" before coming in here.

Tonight we will catch the 8:30 train down to Zap. Since tomorrow is Wednesday, I suspect we will somehow end up at an English lesson. I wish I could somehow get credit for all of the classroom time.

Otherwise, all is well with us.

Blessings,
Ande

Monday, January 12, 2009

It's Time

Anderson and I are in the Birmingham airport waiting on our journey to begin. We will leave JFK at 5:40 this evening. It is hard to believe that we have finally reached the point of Ashley coming home to live with us. Please pray for our list of appointments: 1) birth certificate, 2) country code, 3) passport, 4) medical screening, 5) visa. We are trusting God for agreeable staff and smooth processes.

We will be staying at the Intourist Hotel, so perhaps some of you will see us on the webcam that captures Lenin Street. We are not sure how the gas situation is over there, so we really hope there is heat.

Paula, Chris, Noah, and Lily, we love you and will miss you tremendously. We will talk soon.

Blessings to All,
Ande

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Going Back Soon

I cannot wait to get back to Ukraine.  I know that most of you reading this may think that I am insane (including my wife), but I find myself wanting to be there when I am here.  I have such a longing to be with those who are hopeless, as well as the friends we have made who have taught me so much.  I live with this tension constantly:  What would it be like to live there by choice, as opposed to being born there with no way out?  Some of my self-made paradigms are smashed, others are confirmed each time I visit.

There are 2 there that I care about the most.  Ashley is finally coming home in a couple of weeks (praise God).  Nina, who will always be my 6th child, will probably grow up there.  For three and a half years, I have lived between the now and the not yet while the adoption story was being written.  I am resolved that I will never have a reprieve from living in 2 places.  I want to somehow help the single mother who has volunteered for the burden of raising someone else's child in her apartment in Ukraine.  Lena is a hero.

I would appreciate prayers for Anderson and me.  I anticipate a great time to invest in our relationship.  I hope that he and Ashley can build a foundation.  Parenting a 14 year-old girl and ice skating....I have done neither.  Falling probably looks about the same and hurts just as much.  Have you ever seen that dork who, on his way down, swipes his arm out and takes 2 or 3 to the ice with him?  I pray for grace, wisdom....and really good balance.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Can't Get Away from Ukraine

We were home but for a few days when we got an email from Yana.  She said that her supervisor at the school where she teaches was "crazy for Americans."  They wanted to know if we could do a Skype chat on Christmas Eve to talk to their English class about Christmas in America.  We agreed to have our entire family on the chat.  

After we finally got the webcams working, we had a fun time talking to the kids about our family traditions and the true meaning of Christmas.  I particularly enjoyed hearing the girls in the class ask Anderson, our 13 year-old questions such as: "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Anyway, it is amazing where technology has brought us.  I hope that our time with these kids has made a difference in their lives and that they have seen Christ in us.  I am sure that we will find a way to visit them again in a couple of weeks.